Control VS. Surrender: One client’s journey from controlling worrywart to surrendering creator.

by | Aug 4, 2019 | Having a magic life | 4 comments

Anytime and anywhere you’re trying to control, you’re not trusting that you can actually have everything you’re aware of.

The truth is, you actually can have everything you’re aware of when you’re willing to surrender all of your points of views, beliefs and fears.

What does this actually look like?

Let me show you…

Recently, I led a group coaching call for the participants in my year-long program, Creation Academy.

We were exploring the theme of Surrender and I facilitated women through the questions that I shared in (7 Questions to Guide You from Control to Surrender, so the Universe will deliver on request.)

One woman, Megan Walrod, was courageous enough to allow me to share her process with you, so you could see these questions in action and be inspired with what else is possible for you?!

Question 1: (Cory) What’s something you’ve been asking for that hasn’t shown up yet?

(Megan) “I am aware of the possibility of doing a fundraiser to generate funds for a writing retreat with a NYT Bestselling Author that I really desire to participate in.

I got that doing a fundraiser was such an invitation for me to be vulnerable and create something beyond anything I could ever imagine by asking.

But even though the idea of it is light for me, I still have judgments about choosing it.”

Question 2: (Cory) What judgments do you have that aren’t allowing you to surrender into that?

(Megan) “I have all kinds of judgments.

The top ones are:

  • It’s not okay to ask for money.
  • I’m supposed to already have it.
  • If I’m asking people to donate something must be wrong with me.
  • I shouldn’t be asking for money for something so personal and non-essential.”

Question 3: (Cory) Would you be willing to surrender those?

(Megan) “Something popped in my world as I heard that question.

‘Oh, you mean I don’t need to defend these points of views to you that they’re right?!’

“All the barriers I’d put up around the idea of doing a fundraiser, all the limiting points of views I had about asking for money are melting away…

All of my resistance and judgment holding those barriers in place are melting…”

(Cory): They’re lies! You already know what you want to do.

(Megan): “That’s so true!! It’s so light to choose to do this fundraiser! It makes me giggle with the vulnerability and audacity of it all!”

Question 4: (Cory) So before this conversation, who were you being? 

(Megan) I was being someone who questions my choice, someone who doesn’t want to know what I really know.

I danced around this choice to do a fundraiser. I resisted it.

I asked everyone else’s point of view to validate that I can do this.

Then, if I did choose to do it, I was prepared to make myself wrong no matter how it turned out so I could judge myself for doing it.

Question 5: (Cory) How much control was that old you using to try and not know what you know?

Looking outside of yourself for validation? Keeping yourself in the wrongness of you and your choice.

Instead of seeing and knowing all that you were and are aware of?

(Megan) “A lot… I was using a lot of control while telling myself the lie that I wasn’t powerful enough to choose, create and have this.

I was using a lot of my power against me.”

(Cory) Exactly. That’s the file system we get to delete right now!

(Megan) “Clearing out that “old me” and those old points of views is creating so much more space for me.

I feel lighter, more expansive, tingly and giddy even.”

(Cory) This is why we get stuff in our face.

Whatever shows up is going to give you the awareness of whatever this lightness is. It’s not about you getting the funding, it’s about following the lightness to create whatever awareness that is…

However, it shows up…

Whatever that lightness was offering!!

What is the awareness that is going to come from whatever you choose that has you upgrade into whatever you’re asking for?

Question 6: (Cory) Who are you being now when you’re willing to surrender?

(Megan) I’m being way more of ME…

The potent, magical, me that is willing to be vulnerable and ask for money, for support, for contributions, without judgment…

And I’m willing to receive it all, whatever comes, however it shows up.

Question 7: (Cory) What is choosing this going to clear out to allow you to actually step into what you’re asking for?

(Megan) “Wow… I get how choosing this is requiring me to surrender all of those points of views and judgments I have about myself, about money, about others…

And what I’m really choosing through this retreat with a NYT Bestselling author is more of ME and my writing and my superpowers with writing.

So when I choose this fundraiser, it’s inviting me to BE the woman who is willing to receive it all: the NYT Bestselling Book and all the support it will require to have that and create that.

I get this is a stepping stone to having the MORE that I’m asking for.

And if I can’t have this, if I don’t choose this… how can I have all of that?!

What else is possible now with choosing this and take this next step on my path that is so light?!

And surrender to how it all unfolds?!

Thank you, Cory!”


Can you see how going through the process of surrender allowed Megan to let go of all the judgments that were in the way?

Now it’s your turn.

What might these 7 questions contribute to you?

Click here to grab the 7 questions to facilitate yourself to the choice of surrendering. Use these as journaling prompts and write down your responses.


  1. Jill

    This was so helpful to see an example. I didn’t get it until I read through dialog between Megan and Cory. Thank you both!

    • Cory Michelle

      You’re welcome Jill, isn’t it interesting how someone else going through the process helps you get it.

  2. Christa Legat

    Wow, what coincidence that I’m just reading the book “The surrender experiment” from Michael Singer, who had an enlightenment experience when he was around 25 years. He describes wonderful how he stopped listening to the voice in his head through a lot of Meditation and was surrendering to what live is unfolding before him – I got so much out of this book, I can only recommend it to everybody who is interested in this.
    To surrender has such a beauty within – while giving at all times the best you can be, without any point of view how things will show up.
    Thank you for sharing these questions as it may help to remind me of this process!

    • Cory MIchelle

      You’re so welcome Christa, thank you for sharing here.