When there are no words

by | Dec 15, 2019 | Being The Leader of your life, Evolving

Eek, who am I if I don’t have anything to say…

Like really?
What value do I bring?
Am I important?
Will I be forgotten?
Will people go away if I don’t communicate in some language that can only be validated by an email in your inbox?

This is what I’ve been steeped for the last few weeks CJOHN.

You see, during the EVOLVE events, something happened…
…A shift, or evolution if you will, of myself, where I began an upgrade.

But for me, during this upgrade, I didn’t have much to share, to say, to talk about.

Nothing was calling me to share, even though so much magic was happening, like every day.

From the transformations at the EVOLVE events to hearing numerous people say to me, “this was the best event I’ve EVER been to.”

Seeing how people after the events had massive shifts, they’re not even the same person.

So many inspiring things to share, but I haven’t been able to share any of it.

This upgrade has been intense.
It’s broken me of some old energetic addictions that I didn’t even know were there.

I’ve released old response systems that I cannot even muster up the energy to duplicate from before.

Rest. Relax. Play. Enjoy.


Haha, for real???

Yes, for real.
I did a lot of nothing, spacing out.
Receiving bodywork.
Watching people create on TikTok.

But nothing ‘creative’ was coming through me.

It was all coming in like a zip file, big lumps of energy, kind of like a dream where you remember tons. It’s so vibrant, but translating it to someone else through English was impossible.

But now, the zip files are unpacking.
My upgrade is close to complete, and I can tell because I have a calling to connect with you.

I have words.

I’d love to share the depths of my journey over the last year, much of which I haven’t shared with anyone except Ben.

Upgrades in consciousness, letting everything go, being willing to totally fail, not knowing if I even wanted to keep this facilitation thing going.

Cause truly, if I won the lottery tomorrow, would I really keep doing this?

Is it really satisfying enough to keep going, or should I just sell widgets on Amazon?

To creating from being free from any organization, psychic attacks, old programing mysteriously appearing or losing friends. To having others swipe your class titles, investments gone bad, contractors lying who said they had my back.

To stepping into a new role of CEO, truly connecting with my magic even more potently, and doing all the dirty work.

The shadow work, the work in the dark that is not all about rainbows and lightness. The work that is required that activates the quantum leaps potentials. Basically, making the tough choices that terrify you and facing all the fears.

That’s what 2018-2019 has been for me.

There is so much and a new open and vulnerable space that is available to me now.

After a lifetime of keeping myself safe, protected, on the ‘right’ side, I’ve shed my protective turtle shell, and have no requirement for protection. I am free in a whole new way. There is more to go, but it doesn’t seem nearly as terrifying.

Currently, I am working on an online experience that will be free for anyone called to create their crazy possible year in 2020.

The details will be shared soon, until then, would you like to receive some of the things I’ve learned this year?

I’ll share them here on my blog, which quite frankly has been a ghost town for years.

Thank you for you, thank you for being willing to live your life your way, and to keep going through everything, especially your willingness to tap into even more of you.

I appreciate you.

Until next time,





PS – if you would like to receive updates to this blog, invitations to offerings I have and behind the scenes magic click there to join me.